A guest post by Gail Brenner of A Flourishing Life.

“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.”
~Oscar Wilde

What is the inner light? We know it when we see it in others – a genuine sense of happiness and joy, enthusiasm that emanates, confidence in one’s unique expression. We feel drawn to people who naturally glow because they reflect the potential for our own inner light to shine.

And we all have that inner light. Within each of us is the capacity to be fully alive, to be infinitely creative, to radiate openness, availability, and love, to look forward with great interest to whatever the next moment brings. We can know ourselves as this light, but sometimes we get in our own way.

We unknowingly enact strategies and defenses that leave us hanging back in the shadows rather than allowing our gifts to shine. We lose our way and forget who we are.

Is it time to come out of hiding? Are you ripe for liberating your luminous, true, unobstructed self?

We dim our lights by taking on identities that mask our full potential. See if any of these sound familiar, and experiment with letting them be. Stop diminishing yourself. Pretend you are who you really are, and watch the masks fall away.

People Pleasing

Some of us betray ourselves by the need to seek approval from others. We don’t feel worthy of love on our own merits, so we morph ourselves – our precious lives – to conform to others’ expectations instead. We find ourselves in jobs and relationships that are a clear mismatch out of our need to be accepted. We abandon our happiness to keep the peace.

Do you want your light to shine? Stand in your own truth. Fess up to what you want, and risk the disapproval of those around you. Keep it simple, and stay close to what fires you up. You may not please everyone, but you can’t imagine how the possibilities for your life will open up once you decide to align yourself with the truth.

Victim Mentality

If we blame others for our problems, we are denying ourselves the clarity and groundedness that are rightfully ours. While we are stuck in a grudge or waiting for others to change, we passively let the moments of our lives tick away. “Poor me” just doesn’t cut it if we want to shine.

Instead of torturing yourself with endless stories of what should or shouldn’t have happened, use your most precious resource, your attention, to explore those places inside yourself that you have been avoiding. Be supremely kind as you open to painful feelings. Make the decision to take responsibility for your well being. Do this work no matter what it takes, and you will be surprised at how much positive energy is revealed as the mask of victimhood falls away.

Self-Criticism

Maybe you have convinced yourself that you are not good enough. Whatever form self-judgment takes, it keeps us boxed in and limited. Every time our inner light tries to glow, our minds react like a sledgehammer, with harsh thoughts that inhibit us from moving forward. How can we possibly express ourselves fully when we are shot down every step of the way by our own minds?

The inner critic is a jumble of thoughts that are propelled by fear. Learn to identify the fear, then look beneath it to discover your natural resilience, every time. Find the courage to let your whole self shine.

Neediness

Some of us live in a state of lack. We think we need what we don’t have – a relationship, a quality, a life circumstance – and we spend our time looking outward for fulfillment. This is an “if only” life, and it ignores the treasures that are already here.

Take an honest look at this very moment. If you stop buying into stories that run in your mind, is there anything missing? The universe is so abundant, giving us exactly what we need. When we realize the peace that comes from wanting what we are given, we surrender our ideas of lack, making space for our natural selves to shine.

When we recognize how we hold ourselves back, we have stepped onto the path that takes us back to ourselves. No matter how you feel in this moment, your inner light is shining. Pull away the veils, and let your whole self light up the world.

What holds you back? What has happened in your life when you let your light shine? I’d love to hear…

Gail Brenner is a psychologist with special expertise in untangling self-defeating habits and guiding people to live conscious lives of intelligence, fulfillment, and joy. She delights in offering inspiring articles and guided audio meditations at her blog, A Flourishing Life.

“
"We carry with us the wonders, we seek  without us.” ~ Sir Thomas Browne

To step away, to see with different eyes. 

Perhaps that’s it.  To see “you” in a whole new light.  To connect to something deeper, something more meaningful.

What is it that really draws us to visit new places, or to return to that place…that place of special meaning?  There is a world out there to see, to experience, to know.  And yet, within all that…

…there is another journey…

The journey into that deep and magnificent chasm of “you”. 

A world to explore.  A world right within your own being. 

On Fields Pond.

"A lake is the landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature.  It is Earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature." ~ Henry David Thoreau

I live today, not to seek wealth by common means.  I live today, in the wealth of experiences, of moments, of love, of being.

Wednesday, July 21.  Stillness.  A settled fog upon the pond.  Morning sun, rising in the east.  A loon calls from deep within the fog.  An eagle soars overhead. 

And this is right and good.  The pond and I.

It calls my name.  With kayak, I travel into the pond, into that fog.

And stop. 

I let that all envelop me.  The beauty of this day, this place, these creatures, nature, our world.

That call of the loon.  How is it possible?

The flight of that eagle.  What gives her wings?

The fish that swim.  The fog that lifts.  The plants that grow.  The frogs that croak.  The water that moves.  The moon that sets.  The sun that rises.

All of this, a cohesive one.  A one with each other…together….

All of this, entering my soul as I sit there, stilled, within that fog-covered pond.

We are one…connected at our soul.

And still, we are each so unique and truly amazing.  Like that loon, or the lifting fog.

Do I see this every day?

No, not the lifting fog. 

Do I really see the unique and incredible being I am…not just on July 21…every day.

Do you?

Do you see that in you?  How amazingly incredible you are!  YOU!  Flowing from your being, this special thing that makes you shine… (because you really do!)

Oh…maybe you don’t always see that.  It’s so easy to let the distractions of life overshadow the amazing within you.  It’s there, though.  In each of us.  In every creature, great and small. 

Today, choose to believe…believe in you…

Shine brightly…and live…

And as I reflect back, I'm drawn to that loon…on a still and peaceful daybreak…

…on Fields Pond…

A guest post by courtney carver of be more with less

If you have ever had a hard time putting down a bad book after chapter 4, or stepping away from an ongoing obligation, even when you knew you were wasting time, you will find value in the following recommendations.

Many of us grew up with the message that winners never quit and quitters never win or that an unachieved goal equals failure. But if we really understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, or quitting, we can move forward and experience a more genuine life.

Instead of holding onto guilt, things you don’t care about, and projects that exhaust you, grab on to intuition, love and gratitude. Really think about how you want to invest your time and energy. Looking at the big picture, you only get one chance to have a great life. By choosing to live life on purpose, you can calm down, open yourself up to new opportunities and create more time and space to discover what you love.

Top ten things to let go of today

1. Clutter – Instead of focusing on clearing the clutter from your entire house, focus on one drawer, one closet, one room, or one surface at time. Being free from clutter allows you to see what’s important in your drawers, and in your life.
2. Obsession with numbers – Letting numbers on a scale, in your bank account or even on your google analytics dictate your mood for the day, is no way to live life on purpose. Instead of checking your weight every morning, choose one afternoon a week, or every two weeks to check your numbers. Use the numbers as markers of progress, not indicators of who you are, or how you feel.
3. Fear of not being good enough Feeling like you don’t measure up, may have come from your childhood, or a bad relationship, but now, that feeling is just a voice in your head. It’s your voice and your life. Recognize all that you have accomplished, and all you have to give and quiet that voice, for good.
4. A toxic relationship Holding on to someone that always brings you down, may be good for them, but not for you. The time you spend with others should inspire you, not depress you. Remember there is a difference between a friend that is going through a tough time and a toxic friendship. Once a relationship becomes damaging to the way you act, feel or think, it is time to let go.
5. Facebook friends Today, people often assess their value by their number of “friends” or “followers”. Instead, place value on your actions and character. Go through your list of connections and decide which ones aren’t useful to you. Un-friending and un-following is not personal. Ask yourself if you are connecting with someone via social media for business or pleasure, and make sure your list is in-line with your goals and values.
6. Regret Learn from your mistakes but don’t live in them. The choices you make every day shape your life. Looking back with more knowledge, you may have made different choices, but without a few bumps in the road or downright bad decisions, you wouldn’t be the person you are today.
7. Bad providers In most cases, doctors, investment bankers, auto mechanics and other service providers work for you. You pay them to help you. If they aren’t helping you, or you don’t like working with them, let them go.
8. Doing it all – Instead of doing it all, do all you really care about. Do what you energizes you and speaks to your spirit. Don’t feel pressured because you think everyone you know is doing 100 different, amazing things at once. Do what is right for you. When you redirect your energy in this way, you immediately become more effective.
9. Resistance to change – Change brings opportunity and uncertainty. While uncertainty can cause fear, excitement and new challenges, standing still and resisting change will leave you uninspired, more fearful and closed minded and that is no way to live life on purpose!
10. Goals that don’t fit anymore Letting go of goals and dreams can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago may slowly fade away. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your goal, focus on your new dreams and develop goals that reflect who you are right now.

Regardless of age or circumstance, understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, and give your self permission to hold on to things that are most important. Make decisions to let go knowing that it is your voice, and your life. Just as clearing the clutter from a windowsill will help you see the light, (literally and figuratively) letting go of counter productive obligations and emotions will leave you feeling lighter and inspired to contribute time and energy to your true passions.

What is one thing you can let go of today, to live better tomorrow?

Courtney is a writer and fine art photographer. She writes about simplifying and living life on purpose at bemorewithless.com.

NOTE: I wrote this article on June 27th, 2010  prior to Goodbye for now, Dad

As many of you know, I’ve been through some shyt in my life. Of which I have come out on the other side full of inner-peace and happiness. Thus the tag line matching calamity with serenity: the ability to maintain inner-peace and serenity regardless of life’s circumstances.

This is where the rubber hits the road.

June 26th, 1:30 P.M.
I’m sitting next to my mother on a small couch as we wait for the surgeon. We’ve arranged the chairs in a semi-circle with my aunt, uncle, wife, and mother facing the empty chair where the surgeon will sit. Where he will explain the results of a biopsy they did of a lump on my fathers neck. I already know the results. The day before they found 5 tumors in his brain. Cancer. Logic tells me that’s not where it originated.

The surgeon comes in and sits down, he starts to explain the bad news. I watch his lips move and hear his voice and understand what he’s saying, but I’m not in my own body anymore. I’ve seen this movie before, it’s a sad one. Yet for some reason, no tears seem to come. I hear my mother say, “it’s in God’s hands now.” I think to myself, “it’s always been in God’s hands.” The thought brings some peace to my heart in the moment. I love my mother so much. We’re so alike. After the surgeon leaves I hear “it’s OK to break down now” as everyone else seems to let go of their emotions. I just sit there, watching… I’ve seen this movie before.

My mother and I walk next to my father as he’s wheeled back to his room. Still a little groggy from surgery, he asks “is it cancer?” I look him in the eye and answer “yes it is.” As of this writing we know the cancer originated in the lungs, that it is incurable, and that they are reviewing treatment options. The rest of this story is yet to be written.

I’ve cried some and reflected a lot the last few days. I love my dad and I know he loves me. The reality is, we’re all dying. Most of us just assume it will be later rather than sooner. None of us really know; so make each moment count. I haven’t cried that much, not as much as one would think. But then I realize he’s still here and I can talk to him on the phone anytime I want. Plus my parents only live an hour and a half away; I’m lucky.

These are the moments I’ll reflect on in the years to come. Did I do the right thing or is there anything I would have done differently? The gift is to be emotionally present and feel the diverse emotions entirely. At times I do feel a little numb or that I’m watching a sad movie, yet I am grateful for the ability to feel emotions at all. And again, I’m reminded that we’re all dying and that all my family members are still alive.

One priceless gift I’ve learned through my spiritual journey—especially now—is the ability to recognize the important moments in life: All of them.

I know deep inside that everything is going to be OK. I’m able to maintain a sense of inner-peace and serenity for the most part. There are short periods of time when I feel lost, gloomy, or confused emotionally. It’s at these times that I pray and meditate more, stay connected with my support group and remind myself this too shall pass. I know at times it’s really going to suck; although I can remind myself that right now in this moment, everything is OK.

This is the moment I’ve been training for; I just hope I’m ready coach.

Spiritual Training and Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos

Law enforcement, fireman, military, medical professionals, etc., are subjected to intense physical and mental training. The goal is that when the time comes for them to perform, they intuitively know how to react in a way which may save the lives of their fellows or themselves.

Likewise, by putting deposits into our spiritual bank account we’re hoping to have something to draw upon when the crap hits the fan. As long as we’re breathing there’s crap out there just looking for a fan. Thus the importance and practicality of prayer and meditation. It truly is a way to help us become prepared for times of conflict within ourselves and the world around us.

Some may refer to this as being a “spiritual warrior.” I’ve decided I really don’t like that term; it’s a contradiction. The roots of my spiritual growth are love and forgiveness which doesn’t really jive with the word warrior.

Chaos can be anything that doesn’t fit into the little box we consider to be our manageable life. Maybe it’s emotions we’re not used to feeling or a change in our environment, career, or relationship. Whatever the chaos may be, there can be inner-peace since our happiness and serenity are not contingent on external sources or circumstances. This serenity can get thrown off for a short period of time when we’re faced with new emotions and/or challenges, but if we’ve done the work, we fall back on our training and intuitively know what to do.

It’s OK to fall apart; yet sometimes we need others to remind us of that. However, I don’t want to force emotions which aren’t quite there yet. Maybe I’m in shock, maybe I’m just grateful for the time I do get to spend with my dad. I just know that whatever I’m feeling in each moment, that’s OK and I need to feel it.

Emotions are neither good or bad, they’re just emotions. If you’re feeling a certain way (emotion), then it’s valid; never let anyone tell you otherwise. “You shouldn’t feel that way” is like telling a river it shouldn’t flow towards the sea. The key is learning how to identify the underlying cause. In most cases, the cause is fear stemming from the perception that we’re lacking love in some way; either of ourselves or from others.

If our spiritual training is routine, comfortable, and ingrained, it can provide us some security and comfort (peace) during stressful times. Others from outside may wonder why you’re not a wreck, or you may watch others become basket cases. Yet by falling apart, I’m making it all about me aren’t I? I don’t know, I get confused sometimes on what I should be feeling… I know, I just said emotions are neither good or bad right?

One realization I did have is it’s not my job to make my father right with God and his place in the world. That’s his job. My job is to be a son. A light of sunshine and life when others only see sadness. Although I must allow others to deal with the process the best they know how. As my good friend said, “death is both a sad and a beautiful process.” I can see that now, but we’ll see where I’m at in a few months.

Thanks for stopping by.

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

Other Articles That May Interest You

• 5 Ways of Finding Peace Within
• He Knows Just How Much We Can Bear
• Spirituality for Non-Spiritual People: 6 Ways to Practice Spirituality
• The Power of Spiritual Love and 22 Ways It Will Change Your Life
• Today Could Be Your Last Chance; Make it Count!

What You Need to Know About… Remote Viewing

It’s a scientific method of tapping into the “universal mind,” transcending time and space, and bringing the unconscious into the conscious – and YOU can learn to do it.

Are you curious about remote viewing? You have most likely heard about this mysterious practice and understand that is has something to do with ESP. What you may not know is that a person does not have to be a psychic to learn and use remote viewing. In fact, you can learn to become a remote viewer and access incredible mental powers you didn’t even know you have.

What Is Remote Viewing?

Remote viewing is the controlled use of ESP (extrasensory perception) through a specific method. Using a set of protocols (technical rules), the remote viewer can perceive a target – a person, object or event – that is located distantly in time and space. A remote viewer, it is said, can perceive a target in the past or future that is located in the next room, across the country, around the world or, theoretically, across the universe. In remote viewing, time and space are meaningless. What makes remote viewing different than ESP is that, because it uses specific techniques, it can be learned by virtually anyone.

The term “remote viewing” came about in 1971 through experimentation conducted by Ingo Swann (who correctly remote viewed in 1973 that the planet Jupiter has rings, a fact later confirmed by space probes), Janet Mitchell, Karlis Osis and Gertrude Schmeidler.

In the method that they and others developed, there are five components necessary for remote viewing to take place:

• a subject (the remote viewer)
• active ESP abilities
• a distant target
• the subject’s recorded perceptions
• a confirmatory positive feedback

A remote viewing sessions lasts about one hour.

During the Cold War through the 1970s and 1980s, remote viewing was further developed by the US military and the CIA through such programs codenamed Sun Streak, Grill Flame and Star Gate. The government-sponsored remote viewing programs were successful, according to many who participated. Some of the now-declassified examples include the highly accurate and detailed descriptions of buildings and facilities hundred of miles from the remote viewer – including a crane assembly in the Soviet Union.

Although these organizations claim that after 20 years of experimentation their remote viewing programs have been abandoned, some insiders believe that they are being continued secretly. Some well-known remote viewers say they were contacted by the US government after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks to help locate other possible terrorist activity.

What It Isn’t

Remote viewing is not an out-of-body experience. A remote viewer does not astrally project to the target, although some remote viewers occasionally report a feeling of bilocating to the site of the target.

It also is not a meditative, dream or trance state. During a remote viewing session, the subject is always fully awake and alert. As Christophe Brunski writes in “Remote Viewing: Conditions and Potentials,” “Whereas one might consider a trance state to be ‘going down’ into the deeper levels of mind, RV might be said to allow information from these deeper levels to ‘come up.’”

How Does It Work?

No one really knows for certain how remote viewing works, only that it does. One theory is that trained remote viewers are able to tap into the “Universal Mind” – a kind of comprehensive storehouse of information about everything, where time and space are irrelevant. The remote viewer can enter a “hyperconscious state” in which he or she can tune in to specific targets within the universal consciousness of which all people and all things are a part. It sounds like a lot of “New Age” jargon, but it’s a good guess as to what’s really taking place.

Ingo Swann calls remote viewing a “form of virtual reality traveling” that is brought under conscious control.

How well does it work? While skeptics contend that it doesn’t work at all and some proponents claim it works 100 percent of the time, the fact is it does work, but not all of the time for all remote viewers. A highly skilled remote viewer may have a success rate that approaches 100 percent; he or she may be able to access a target nearly all of the time, but all of the data obtained may not be completely accurate. There are many factors involved, and some targets may be more complicated to reach and describe than others.

Who Can Learn Remote Viewing?

Virtually anyone can learn remote viewing. You don’t need to be “psychic” to successfully remote view, but it does require training and diligent practice. Some research has shown that left-handed people are more likely to become successful at it. But learning remote viewing has been likened to learning to play a musical instrument. You’re not going to be able to read a book (or website) about it and then be able to do it. You must learn the techniques and then practice. As with a musical instrument, the more you train and practice with it, the better you’ll be able to perform. It takes time, motivation and dedication.

According to Paul H. Smith in his article “Can Remote Viewing Be Trained,” remote viewing “training has been nearly always successful to a greater or lesser degree depending on the level of motivation, preparation and innate ability of a given student viewer.” Remote viewer Joe McMoneagle has compared it to training for the martial arts.

How You Can Learn Remote Viewing

If you’re curious about the potential of remote viewing, there are many resources for learning its methods and techniques. For example, the official Army manual on Coordinate Remote Viewing, written in 1986, is available free online. It provides background, training procedures, how a remote viewing session works and more.

There are commercial courses as well, which can range in cost from free to hundreds of dollars and even thousands of dollars. Be cautious and research a company thoroughly before investing any money in training. Be wary of exaggerated claims and find out exactly what you get for your money. Here are a few sources:

• Academy of Remote Viewing
• The Farsight Institute
• Hawaii Remote Viewers’ Guild
• Western Institute of Remote Viewing
• PSI Tech
• Straightline Remote Sensing (free online exercises)

Why would you want to learn remote viewing? Paul H. Smith answers:

“Within its inherent limitations remote viewing has been used in intelligence collection, crime-solving, finding missing persons, market predictions, and – more controversially – space exploration. Yet most people who learn it do so not because of practical applications so much as the challenge it represents – learning to do something that few other people as yet know how to do; or acquiring a skill deemed impossible under the currently ruling scientific paradigm; or because it provides convincing and satisfying proof that we are, indeed, much more than our physical bodies. While skydivers learn that it is possible to transcend the physical fears and bodily limitations that we normally think we are subject to, remote viewers learn something analogous: that it is possible to transcend not only those limitations, but the boundaries of space and time as well.”

I hope everyone found this article as interesting as I have and you can read more about this on the website:

http://paranormal.about.com

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By Mary Jaksch

This is a crucial question: what makes your life worthwhile? And you need to know the answer. Because if you know what does, you can do more of it – and feel happier.  Although this is a crucial question, we don’t tend to ask it very often.

The question is not only important for us as individuals, it’s crucial for our communities and countries. At present, the well-being of a country is rated by the GDP, the Gross Domestic Product. But is that really a relevant benchmark?

Chip Conley – one of the new breed of compassionate entrepreneurs – went in search of a business model based upon happiness. In an old friendship with an employee and in the wisdom of a Buddhist king, he learned that success comes from what you makes peoples’ lives worthwhile. Watch the video below and then skip down to my final question.

So, here is the important question:

What makes YOUR life worthwhile?
Please share your thoughts in the comments.

 
photo credit: procsilas

"Of all the liars in the world sometimes the worst are our own fears." ~ Rudyard Kipling

Regardless of whether or not you believe in God, higher power, creator of the universe, etc.,  you can still be a spiritual person. Whether you realize it or not, you probably practice spirituality without even knowing it. The simple fact that you’re here reading this implies you’re seeking something. Welcome.

Maybe you’re wondering how one becomes spiritual or what the benefits are of being a spiritual person.

The definition of spirituality is that which relates to or affects the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things. Spirituality touches that part of you that is not dependent on material things or physical comforts.
- Living Words of Wisdom

Sounds good to me

A Glimpse into the Practicality of Belief
My family attended church every Sunday until I was about 6 years old; so I was told and vaguely remember craft time in Sunday school. We then moved 60 miles away to “the farm;” away from town, churches, and the routine of going to church. My father’s dream was to farm. And he did for many years until we had to sell the farm and move to the city when I was in junior high. Well, “city” for me had a population of 3,000. The point is that spirituality or church (which meant the same thing to me) was not a part of our daily lives; but work was. However my mother has always been a women of faith.

I know we had a bible in the house because when I was around ten years old my mother found me under the kitchen table reading it during a bad storm. Living in rural Kansas, tornado’s were common and something my dad enjoyed… observing. I remember one steamy summer evening standing next to him on the front porch watching the clouds swirl above our house like an angry toilet bowl. I asked him if he was scared to which he answered, “It doesn’t look good.” I guess at ten years old I felt I still had some un-finished business with the man upstairs. That’s when my mother found me reading scripture under the table.

Growing up I had no reason to really think about or consider God or spirituality. Honestly, I thought it was something people used to make themselves feel better. I do recall loving nature and the wonders of the outdoors. No matter where we lived, my favorite spot was the top of the highest tree where I would sit for hours and contemplate earth’s beauty and observe the wonders of nature.

Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell, spirituality is for those who have been there.
-Bonnie Riatt

When I was twenty two my grandfather passed away. I remember him being one of the happiest souls I’d known in my inexperienced life. His hickory stripped overalls always hid something fascinating; like a pocket watch and the chain that snuck into the bib pocket just begging us to pull on it. I loved the way he’d say “hot diggity” while slapping his knee, making it impossible to not jump in his lap.

When my grandfather passed, I had a hard time grasping the concept of someone you love being there one day and gone the next. The idea that I would never see him again was difficult to wrap my head around. That was my first glimpse into the possible benefit of religion, spirituality, or a deeper belief system. A reason to believe in something outside of myself and the physical world I lived in. People would say, “He’s with God now and resting…he’s in a better place.” All the time I was thinking, “Good for them, I think that’s nice they try to convince themselves he’s in heaven to make them feel better.” I remember thinking; I wish I could feel better. For the first time I entertained the idea of searching for something to believe in outside of myself. My reasoning was; if it makes us feel better, why not? It would be a fleeting glimpse however as I set out to conquer and dazzle the world with my amazing abilities and charisma. Deep down in my core I believed there was nothing out there beyond what I could see or touch; so I’d better go get as much of it as I could.

Fourteen years later I realized I would need to believe in something besides myself if I wanted to live. Me wasn’t working out the way I had planned. It was then—out of desperation—I went searching for a different way to live; what I found was spirituality.

Spirituality: Believing vs. Knowing
Recently due to an illness in our family, I’m reminded again—up close and personal—of our mortality. The experience reminds me of what I felt as a twenty two year old and my grandfather’s death. Moreover, will all the work I’ve done and spiritual progress I’ve made since, help me when I need it the most? Or am I just preparing to shield myself from reality when something really tragic happens?

Do I really believe or know everything will be OK?

At this stage in my spiritual journey I mostly believe. But as I experience more of life and remain conscious throughout each experience—allowing them to take me to where I’m supposed to be—I begin to know.

Early in my spiritual journey I believed certain things because I witnessed them happening in the lives of others. The seed began with the simple belief that—if it could happen for them—maybe it could happen for me. Things like practical prayer; that by praying for others more than myself, I was consciously thinking of others more and I would eventually become less selfish. Moreover, I began to witness others go through tragic experiences while maintaining a sense of inner-peace and serenity.

Just because we believe in some higher power or become spiritual does not mean we avoid suffering or pain. Quite contrary, Buddhism suggests that suffering is an essential part of life. From Mindfulness in Plain English (Amazon):

The essence of life is suffering, said the Buddha. At first glance this seems exceedingly morbid and pessimistic. It even seems untrue. After all, there are plenty of times when we are happy. Aren’t there? No, there are not. It just seems that way. Take any moment when you feel really fulfilled and examine it closely. Down under the joy, you will find that subtle, all-pervasive undercurrent of tension, that no matter how great the moment is, it is going to end. No matter how much you just gained, you are either going to lose some of it or spend the rest of your days guarding what you have got and scheming how to get more. And in the end, you are going to die. In the end, you lose everything. It is all transitory.

The key for spirituality is to learn how to manifest an underlying belief system that is based on experience and keeps us in the moment.

So the key to managing suffering is to discover this thing called spirituality and the ability to match calamity with serenity. Working towards inner-peace and the ability to stay as present in each moment as possible. We begin to realize the spiritual power of now.

Anyone, regardless of beliefs, can practice spirituality. In essence, spirituality is a quest for self-transformation; sometimes called new age spirituality.

New age spirituality is the development of individual personal spiritual experiences. It is not any one specific philosophy, or set of religious beliefs. It is a journey through many paths and practices that leads to self-discovery.

It is people discovering their own power, taking responsibility for their lives, and recognizing that we are all one in the grand universal scheme.
-New Age Spirituality at Living Words of Wisdom

Here are 6 Ways You Can Practice Spirituality

1. Learning the True Nature of Self
By looking deep inside ourselves, we begin to understand how we operate. We can take a close look at our fears—rejection, abandonment, failure, success—and things which throw us off balance. Then we’re able to search for the cause in underlying emotions.

The truth is most people find the same things underneath; further evidence that we’re all linked in one form or another and are more similar than our ego would have us believe.

As we learn more about ourselves, we’re better equipped to understand others. This leads to open mindedness, forgiveness, and empathy.

2. Make a Choice
Self-transformation begins with a choice, a decision to seek a more spiritual life.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
-Buddhist Proverb

The fact that you’re reading this means you’re seeking something. We all have to start somewhere. The important thing is to keep searching until you find something that makes sense to you. The choice is yours, take what you need and leave the rest.

3. Self-Help/Personal Development
Have you checked out the self-help or personal development section at your local book store lately? It’s packed full of all sorts of topics; many of which touch on spirituality in one form or another. One book I highly recommend and read often is There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem (Amazon) by Wayne Dyer.

4. Meditation
There are many forms of meditation, find one that works for you. Try to keep it simple in the beginning until you find something that works. Check out my post, Mindfulness and the Benefits of Meditation.

5. Ask for Guidance
Find someone who has something you want (spiritually) and ask them how they got there. There are spiritual coaches and programs which help people live more spiritual lives. Again, it’s important to find something that makes sense to you; listen to your gut.

Personal development guru Steve Pavlina says in his article How To Graduate From Christianity, “When you see enforcement based on the promise of rewards and punishments, you’re not witnessing real truth. You’re witnessing marketing masquerading as truth.”

6. Exercise
Spirituality has nothing to do with materialism or our physical comforts; it touches on mind, body, and spirit. As the other 5 points deal mostly with mind and spirit, exercising the body is spiritual.

Once you start taking care of your mind and spirit, you’ll intuitively want to live a healthier lifestyle physically.

Most people cannot deny the power behind a healthy body, mind, and spirit. It sort of reminds me of my first car; a maroon Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Classic. It was a project car of a nearby high school. It looked cool as hell but the engine was crap! It doesn’t matter how good you look if you can’t get to where you need to go.

What are some ways you practice spirituality?

photo credit: alicepopkorn

Other Articles That May Interest You

• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 5, Confession
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 4, Self-Searching
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness
• Matching Calamity with Serenity: Spiritual Training and Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos
• Wants vs. Needs and Spiritual Growth

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An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. ~   Buddha

A guest post by Aileen Mahoney of Kaizen Vision

There is a post-it-note on my bathroom mirror it’s 6 years old and the ink is fading, it reads:

Does this friendship strengthen me or weaken me?
Is my day brighter, my life brighter and better because of your presence?
If you strengthen me, support my best self, bring the best out of me, then you are a friend.

I clearly remember the day I wrote this. It was in the month of May 2004. I was deeply heartbroken by a great friend. I felt betrayed, stabbed in the back, and I was shocked, hurt and astounded. I really shouldn’t have been so surprised. If I had thought about all the times I felt little ouches when I was with her, how insecure I would feel at times and how careful I was at other times, then I would have known this wasn’t a true friend. Instead I focused on the fun factor of our friendship and I didn’t give the quality of our friendship enough attention. Looking back at it, all the signs were there.

Starting at the earliest age, we desire the feeling of being accepted, loved and appreciated. We enjoy the adventure, the comfort and the companionship that friendship offers. With true friends we grow and blossom, we are encouraged to show up as our best selves as we enrich each others lives.

With toxic friends we wither, sometimes knowingly other times unknowingly, but regardless the deteriorating effect is still the same. Do you recognize any of these?

7 Types of Toxic Friends

1. The Manipulator is often stealthy. We don’t tend to see it right away until smack it happens again. They have countless tactics too many to mention, the best way to recognize them is when you feel yourself coerced into responding in away that just doesn’t feel right.

2. The Judger just can’t help but judge and criticize us. “You would look great with an age appropriate hairstyle don’t you think?” “I love your home, there so much potential here I know exactly how I would decorate it.” These guys can find fault in anything you do. It’s as though you just can’t do anything right. When it’s done in a joking tone it may be a bit harder to identify.

3. The Competitor will compete with you even when you’re not competing. If you decide to run a 5k they can’t wait to tell you about how they signed up for a marathon. When you mention you’re your weekend getaway they tell you about their plan for a two week vacation in Tahiti in their beautiful over-water bungalow with panoramic views and fresh exotic fruits.

4. The Opportunist is “take, take, take.” There is no reciprocity in this relationship. They tend to call you when they need or want something. They’ll go to your party if there isn’t a “better” event happening that night. It’s all about what’s in it for them.

5. The Energy Vampire is self-absorbed and zaps our energy as they go on-and-on endlessly about themselves. When you leave them you feel exhausted.

6.The Gossiper is more malicious than the average person who periodically finds them self in a bit of gossip. Gossip appears to be the only thing they are interested in and they enjoy exaggeration and little lies to liven up the drama. This can be a disastrous recipe. The Gossiper can destroy relationships, and even compromise your job and reputation. Stay clear of this one because remember, one who always gossips to you about others will gossip to others about you and you won’t know what exaggerations or lies are being added.

7.  Negative Nelly is a downer, all is wrong in their world. They are pessimistic and resistant. They only want to hear what’s wrong in your life and they tend to get bored or change the subject when you mention your successes or happiness.

SUBTLETIES

Not all toxic friends will fit into a category, often there is a wide array of combinations and variations in their actions and it may be quite subtle. At first glance it may seem innocent, but after deeper consideration we realize something’s not quite right, we might feel like we’ve been hit by something but we’re not sure what. We don’t know specifically what they did or said but we feel it.

Ultimately the best way to know if a friend is true or toxic is how you feel when you are with them. Think of your individual relationships. Ask you self these questions allow yourself both a gut response and deeper response.

• Is this person there for you when you are in need? Can you count on this person? Would they go the distance for you if needed?

• Do you feel appreciated, celebrated and respected?

• Do you feel free to speak freely and be yourself without hesitating and self-editing?

• Is there room for both of you in this friendship? Is there a real shared give and take?

• Do you feel good with the person?

WHY IT MATTERS

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
Tennessee Williams

When we are busy with toxic friends, it’s harder to make time for the true ones. We have the opportunity to fill our life with great friends and great experiences. Do you really want give the best of yourself away to someone who takes what they can as they poison you? There are wonderful friendships to be cultivated, shared and celebrated right now and you have the power to choose who you invite into and who you keep in your life.

What about your friendships? Anything about them feel unhealthy?
What is it about your favorite friends that you cherish?

Aileen is a lover of dance and the performing arts. She writes about cultivating mind, body and spirit through continuous small improvements on her blog, Kaizen Vision.

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