Readings by Jody

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"We carry with us the wonders, we seek  without us.” ~ Sir Thomas Browne

To step away, to see with different eyes. 

Perhaps that’s it.  To see “you” in a whole new light.  To connect to something deeper, something more meaningful.

What is it that really draws us to visit new places, or to return to that place…that place of special meaning?  There is a world out there to see, to experience, to know.  And yet, within all that…

…there is another journey…

The journey into that deep and magnificent chasm of “you”. 

A world to explore.  A world right within your own being. 

On Fields Pond.

"A lake is the landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature.  It is Earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature." ~ Henry David Thoreau

I live today, not to seek wealth by common means.  I live today, in the wealth of experiences, of moments, of love, of being.

Wednesday, July 21.  Stillness.  A settled fog upon the pond.  Morning sun, rising in the east.  A loon calls from deep within the fog.  An eagle soars overhead. 

And this is right and good.  The pond and I.

It calls my name.  With kayak, I travel into the pond, into that fog.

And stop. 

I let that all envelop me.  The beauty of this day, this place, these creatures, nature, our world.

That call of the loon.  How is it possible?

The flight of that eagle.  What gives her wings?

The fish that swim.  The fog that lifts.  The plants that grow.  The frogs that croak.  The water that moves.  The moon that sets.  The sun that rises.

All of this, a cohesive one.  A one with each other…together….

All of this, entering my soul as I sit there, stilled, within that fog-covered pond.

We are one…connected at our soul.

And still, we are each so unique and truly amazing.  Like that loon, or the lifting fog.

Do I see this every day?

No, not the lifting fog. 

Do I really see the unique and incredible being I am…not just on July 21…every day.

Do you?

Do you see that in you?  How amazingly incredible you are!  YOU!  Flowing from your being, this special thing that makes you shine… (because you really do!)

Oh…maybe you don’t always see that.  It’s so easy to let the distractions of life overshadow the amazing within you.  It’s there, though.  In each of us.  In every creature, great and small. 

Today, choose to believe…believe in you…

Shine brightly…and live…

And as I reflect back, I'm drawn to that loon…on a still and peaceful daybreak…

…on Fields Pond…

A guest post by courtney carver of be more with less

If you have ever had a hard time putting down a bad book after chapter 4, or stepping away from an ongoing obligation, even when you knew you were wasting time, you will find value in the following recommendations.

Many of us grew up with the message that winners never quit and quitters never win or that an unachieved goal equals failure. But if we really understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, or quitting, we can move forward and experience a more genuine life.

Instead of holding onto guilt, things you don’t care about, and projects that exhaust you, grab on to intuition, love and gratitude. Really think about how you want to invest your time and energy. Looking at the big picture, you only get one chance to have a great life. By choosing to live life on purpose, you can calm down, open yourself up to new opportunities and create more time and space to discover what you love.

Top ten things to let go of today

1. Clutter – Instead of focusing on clearing the clutter from your entire house, focus on one drawer, one closet, one room, or one surface at time. Being free from clutter allows you to see what’s important in your drawers, and in your life.
2. Obsession with numbers – Letting numbers on a scale, in your bank account or even on your google analytics dictate your mood for the day, is no way to live life on purpose. Instead of checking your weight every morning, choose one afternoon a week, or every two weeks to check your numbers. Use the numbers as markers of progress, not indicators of who you are, or how you feel.
3. Fear of not being good enough Feeling like you don’t measure up, may have come from your childhood, or a bad relationship, but now, that feeling is just a voice in your head. It’s your voice and your life. Recognize all that you have accomplished, and all you have to give and quiet that voice, for good.
4. A toxic relationship Holding on to someone that always brings you down, may be good for them, but not for you. The time you spend with others should inspire you, not depress you. Remember there is a difference between a friend that is going through a tough time and a toxic friendship. Once a relationship becomes damaging to the way you act, feel or think, it is time to let go.
5. Facebook friends Today, people often assess their value by their number of “friends” or “followers”. Instead, place value on your actions and character. Go through your list of connections and decide which ones aren’t useful to you. Un-friending and un-following is not personal. Ask yourself if you are connecting with someone via social media for business or pleasure, and make sure your list is in-line with your goals and values.
6. Regret Learn from your mistakes but don’t live in them. The choices you make every day shape your life. Looking back with more knowledge, you may have made different choices, but without a few bumps in the road or downright bad decisions, you wouldn’t be the person you are today.
7. Bad providers In most cases, doctors, investment bankers, auto mechanics and other service providers work for you. You pay them to help you. If they aren’t helping you, or you don’t like working with them, let them go.
8. Doing it all – Instead of doing it all, do all you really care about. Do what you energizes you and speaks to your spirit. Don’t feel pressured because you think everyone you know is doing 100 different, amazing things at once. Do what is right for you. When you redirect your energy in this way, you immediately become more effective.
9. Resistance to change – Change brings opportunity and uncertainty. While uncertainty can cause fear, excitement and new challenges, standing still and resisting change will leave you uninspired, more fearful and closed minded and that is no way to live life on purpose!
10. Goals that don’t fit anymore Letting go of goals and dreams can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago may slowly fade away. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your goal, focus on your new dreams and develop goals that reflect who you are right now.

Regardless of age or circumstance, understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, and give your self permission to hold on to things that are most important. Make decisions to let go knowing that it is your voice, and your life. Just as clearing the clutter from a windowsill will help you see the light, (literally and figuratively) letting go of counter productive obligations and emotions will leave you feeling lighter and inspired to contribute time and energy to your true passions.

What is one thing you can let go of today, to live better tomorrow?

Courtney is a writer and fine art photographer. She writes about simplifying and living life on purpose at bemorewithless.com.

NOTE: I wrote this article on June 27th, 2010  prior to Goodbye for now, Dad

As many of you know, I’ve been through some shyt in my life. Of which I have come out on the other side full of inner-peace and happiness. Thus the tag line matching calamity with serenity: the ability to maintain inner-peace and serenity regardless of life’s circumstances.

This is where the rubber hits the road.

June 26th, 1:30 P.M.
I’m sitting next to my mother on a small couch as we wait for the surgeon. We’ve arranged the chairs in a semi-circle with my aunt, uncle, wife, and mother facing the empty chair where the surgeon will sit. Where he will explain the results of a biopsy they did of a lump on my fathers neck. I already know the results. The day before they found 5 tumors in his brain. Cancer. Logic tells me that’s not where it originated.

The surgeon comes in and sits down, he starts to explain the bad news. I watch his lips move and hear his voice and understand what he’s saying, but I’m not in my own body anymore. I’ve seen this movie before, it’s a sad one. Yet for some reason, no tears seem to come. I hear my mother say, “it’s in God’s hands now.” I think to myself, “it’s always been in God’s hands.” The thought brings some peace to my heart in the moment. I love my mother so much. We’re so alike. After the surgeon leaves I hear “it’s OK to break down now” as everyone else seems to let go of their emotions. I just sit there, watching… I’ve seen this movie before.

My mother and I walk next to my father as he’s wheeled back to his room. Still a little groggy from surgery, he asks “is it cancer?” I look him in the eye and answer “yes it is.” As of this writing we know the cancer originated in the lungs, that it is incurable, and that they are reviewing treatment options. The rest of this story is yet to be written.

I’ve cried some and reflected a lot the last few days. I love my dad and I know he loves me. The reality is, we’re all dying. Most of us just assume it will be later rather than sooner. None of us really know; so make each moment count. I haven’t cried that much, not as much as one would think. But then I realize he’s still here and I can talk to him on the phone anytime I want. Plus my parents only live an hour and a half away; I’m lucky.

These are the moments I’ll reflect on in the years to come. Did I do the right thing or is there anything I would have done differently? The gift is to be emotionally present and feel the diverse emotions entirely. At times I do feel a little numb or that I’m watching a sad movie, yet I am grateful for the ability to feel emotions at all. And again, I’m reminded that we’re all dying and that all my family members are still alive.

One priceless gift I’ve learned through my spiritual journey—especially now—is the ability to recognize the important moments in life: All of them.

I know deep inside that everything is going to be OK. I’m able to maintain a sense of inner-peace and serenity for the most part. There are short periods of time when I feel lost, gloomy, or confused emotionally. It’s at these times that I pray and meditate more, stay connected with my support group and remind myself this too shall pass. I know at times it’s really going to suck; although I can remind myself that right now in this moment, everything is OK.

This is the moment I’ve been training for; I just hope I’m ready coach.

Spiritual Training and Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos

Law enforcement, fireman, military, medical professionals, etc., are subjected to intense physical and mental training. The goal is that when the time comes for them to perform, they intuitively know how to react in a way which may save the lives of their fellows or themselves.

Likewise, by putting deposits into our spiritual bank account we’re hoping to have something to draw upon when the crap hits the fan. As long as we’re breathing there’s crap out there just looking for a fan. Thus the importance and practicality of prayer and meditation. It truly is a way to help us become prepared for times of conflict within ourselves and the world around us.

Some may refer to this as being a “spiritual warrior.” I’ve decided I really don’t like that term; it’s a contradiction. The roots of my spiritual growth are love and forgiveness which doesn’t really jive with the word warrior.

Chaos can be anything that doesn’t fit into the little box we consider to be our manageable life. Maybe it’s emotions we’re not used to feeling or a change in our environment, career, or relationship. Whatever the chaos may be, there can be inner-peace since our happiness and serenity are not contingent on external sources or circumstances. This serenity can get thrown off for a short period of time when we’re faced with new emotions and/or challenges, but if we’ve done the work, we fall back on our training and intuitively know what to do.

It’s OK to fall apart; yet sometimes we need others to remind us of that. However, I don’t want to force emotions which aren’t quite there yet. Maybe I’m in shock, maybe I’m just grateful for the time I do get to spend with my dad. I just know that whatever I’m feeling in each moment, that’s OK and I need to feel it.

Emotions are neither good or bad, they’re just emotions. If you’re feeling a certain way (emotion), then it’s valid; never let anyone tell you otherwise. “You shouldn’t feel that way” is like telling a river it shouldn’t flow towards the sea. The key is learning how to identify the underlying cause. In most cases, the cause is fear stemming from the perception that we’re lacking love in some way; either of ourselves or from others.

If our spiritual training is routine, comfortable, and ingrained, it can provide us some security and comfort (peace) during stressful times. Others from outside may wonder why you’re not a wreck, or you may watch others become basket cases. Yet by falling apart, I’m making it all about me aren’t I? I don’t know, I get confused sometimes on what I should be feeling… I know, I just said emotions are neither good or bad right?

One realization I did have is it’s not my job to make my father right with God and his place in the world. That’s his job. My job is to be a son. A light of sunshine and life when others only see sadness. Although I must allow others to deal with the process the best they know how. As my good friend said, “death is both a sad and a beautiful process.” I can see that now, but we’ll see where I’m at in a few months.

Thanks for stopping by.

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

Other Articles That May Interest You

• 5 Ways of Finding Peace Within
• He Knows Just How Much We Can Bear
• Spirituality for Non-Spiritual People: 6 Ways to Practice Spirituality
• The Power of Spiritual Love and 22 Ways It Will Change Your Life
• Today Could Be Your Last Chance; Make it Count!

By Mary Jaksch

This is a crucial question: what makes your life worthwhile? And you need to know the answer. Because if you know what does, you can do more of it – and feel happier.  Although this is a crucial question, we don’t tend to ask it very often.

The question is not only important for us as individuals, it’s crucial for our communities and countries. At present, the well-being of a country is rated by the GDP, the Gross Domestic Product. But is that really a relevant benchmark?

Chip Conley – one of the new breed of compassionate entrepreneurs – went in search of a business model based upon happiness. In an old friendship with an employee and in the wisdom of a Buddhist king, he learned that success comes from what you makes peoples’ lives worthwhile. Watch the video below and then skip down to my final question.

So, here is the important question:

What makes YOUR life worthwhile?
Please share your thoughts in the comments.

 
photo credit: procsilas

"Of all the liars in the world sometimes the worst are our own fears." ~ Rudyard Kipling

Regardless of whether or not you believe in God, higher power, creator of the universe, etc.,  you can still be a spiritual person. Whether you realize it or not, you probably practice spirituality without even knowing it. The simple fact that you’re here reading this implies you’re seeking something. Welcome.

Maybe you’re wondering how one becomes spiritual or what the benefits are of being a spiritual person.

The definition of spirituality is that which relates to or affects the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things. Spirituality touches that part of you that is not dependent on material things or physical comforts.
- Living Words of Wisdom

Sounds good to me

A Glimpse into the Practicality of Belief
My family attended church every Sunday until I was about 6 years old; so I was told and vaguely remember craft time in Sunday school. We then moved 60 miles away to “the farm;” away from town, churches, and the routine of going to church. My father’s dream was to farm. And he did for many years until we had to sell the farm and move to the city when I was in junior high. Well, “city” for me had a population of 3,000. The point is that spirituality or church (which meant the same thing to me) was not a part of our daily lives; but work was. However my mother has always been a women of faith.

I know we had a bible in the house because when I was around ten years old my mother found me under the kitchen table reading it during a bad storm. Living in rural Kansas, tornado’s were common and something my dad enjoyed… observing. I remember one steamy summer evening standing next to him on the front porch watching the clouds swirl above our house like an angry toilet bowl. I asked him if he was scared to which he answered, “It doesn’t look good.” I guess at ten years old I felt I still had some un-finished business with the man upstairs. That’s when my mother found me reading scripture under the table.

Growing up I had no reason to really think about or consider God or spirituality. Honestly, I thought it was something people used to make themselves feel better. I do recall loving nature and the wonders of the outdoors. No matter where we lived, my favorite spot was the top of the highest tree where I would sit for hours and contemplate earth’s beauty and observe the wonders of nature.

Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell, spirituality is for those who have been there.
-Bonnie Riatt

When I was twenty two my grandfather passed away. I remember him being one of the happiest souls I’d known in my inexperienced life. His hickory stripped overalls always hid something fascinating; like a pocket watch and the chain that snuck into the bib pocket just begging us to pull on it. I loved the way he’d say “hot diggity” while slapping his knee, making it impossible to not jump in his lap.

When my grandfather passed, I had a hard time grasping the concept of someone you love being there one day and gone the next. The idea that I would never see him again was difficult to wrap my head around. That was my first glimpse into the possible benefit of religion, spirituality, or a deeper belief system. A reason to believe in something outside of myself and the physical world I lived in. People would say, “He’s with God now and resting…he’s in a better place.” All the time I was thinking, “Good for them, I think that’s nice they try to convince themselves he’s in heaven to make them feel better.” I remember thinking; I wish I could feel better. For the first time I entertained the idea of searching for something to believe in outside of myself. My reasoning was; if it makes us feel better, why not? It would be a fleeting glimpse however as I set out to conquer and dazzle the world with my amazing abilities and charisma. Deep down in my core I believed there was nothing out there beyond what I could see or touch; so I’d better go get as much of it as I could.

Fourteen years later I realized I would need to believe in something besides myself if I wanted to live. Me wasn’t working out the way I had planned. It was then—out of desperation—I went searching for a different way to live; what I found was spirituality.

Spirituality: Believing vs. Knowing
Recently due to an illness in our family, I’m reminded again—up close and personal—of our mortality. The experience reminds me of what I felt as a twenty two year old and my grandfather’s death. Moreover, will all the work I’ve done and spiritual progress I’ve made since, help me when I need it the most? Or am I just preparing to shield myself from reality when something really tragic happens?

Do I really believe or know everything will be OK?

At this stage in my spiritual journey I mostly believe. But as I experience more of life and remain conscious throughout each experience—allowing them to take me to where I’m supposed to be—I begin to know.

Early in my spiritual journey I believed certain things because I witnessed them happening in the lives of others. The seed began with the simple belief that—if it could happen for them—maybe it could happen for me. Things like practical prayer; that by praying for others more than myself, I was consciously thinking of others more and I would eventually become less selfish. Moreover, I began to witness others go through tragic experiences while maintaining a sense of inner-peace and serenity.

Just because we believe in some higher power or become spiritual does not mean we avoid suffering or pain. Quite contrary, Buddhism suggests that suffering is an essential part of life. From Mindfulness in Plain English (Amazon):

The essence of life is suffering, said the Buddha. At first glance this seems exceedingly morbid and pessimistic. It even seems untrue. After all, there are plenty of times when we are happy. Aren’t there? No, there are not. It just seems that way. Take any moment when you feel really fulfilled and examine it closely. Down under the joy, you will find that subtle, all-pervasive undercurrent of tension, that no matter how great the moment is, it is going to end. No matter how much you just gained, you are either going to lose some of it or spend the rest of your days guarding what you have got and scheming how to get more. And in the end, you are going to die. In the end, you lose everything. It is all transitory.

The key for spirituality is to learn how to manifest an underlying belief system that is based on experience and keeps us in the moment.

So the key to managing suffering is to discover this thing called spirituality and the ability to match calamity with serenity. Working towards inner-peace and the ability to stay as present in each moment as possible. We begin to realize the spiritual power of now.

Anyone, regardless of beliefs, can practice spirituality. In essence, spirituality is a quest for self-transformation; sometimes called new age spirituality.

New age spirituality is the development of individual personal spiritual experiences. It is not any one specific philosophy, or set of religious beliefs. It is a journey through many paths and practices that leads to self-discovery.

It is people discovering their own power, taking responsibility for their lives, and recognizing that we are all one in the grand universal scheme.
-New Age Spirituality at Living Words of Wisdom

Here are 6 Ways You Can Practice Spirituality

1. Learning the True Nature of Self
By looking deep inside ourselves, we begin to understand how we operate. We can take a close look at our fears—rejection, abandonment, failure, success—and things which throw us off balance. Then we’re able to search for the cause in underlying emotions.

The truth is most people find the same things underneath; further evidence that we’re all linked in one form or another and are more similar than our ego would have us believe.

As we learn more about ourselves, we’re better equipped to understand others. This leads to open mindedness, forgiveness, and empathy.

2. Make a Choice
Self-transformation begins with a choice, a decision to seek a more spiritual life.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
-Buddhist Proverb

The fact that you’re reading this means you’re seeking something. We all have to start somewhere. The important thing is to keep searching until you find something that makes sense to you. The choice is yours, take what you need and leave the rest.

3. Self-Help/Personal Development
Have you checked out the self-help or personal development section at your local book store lately? It’s packed full of all sorts of topics; many of which touch on spirituality in one form or another. One book I highly recommend and read often is There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem (Amazon) by Wayne Dyer.

4. Meditation
There are many forms of meditation, find one that works for you. Try to keep it simple in the beginning until you find something that works. Check out my post, Mindfulness and the Benefits of Meditation.

5. Ask for Guidance
Find someone who has something you want (spiritually) and ask them how they got there. There are spiritual coaches and programs which help people live more spiritual lives. Again, it’s important to find something that makes sense to you; listen to your gut.

Personal development guru Steve Pavlina says in his article How To Graduate From Christianity, “When you see enforcement based on the promise of rewards and punishments, you’re not witnessing real truth. You’re witnessing marketing masquerading as truth.”

6. Exercise
Spirituality has nothing to do with materialism or our physical comforts; it touches on mind, body, and spirit. As the other 5 points deal mostly with mind and spirit, exercising the body is spiritual.

Once you start taking care of your mind and spirit, you’ll intuitively want to live a healthier lifestyle physically.

Most people cannot deny the power behind a healthy body, mind, and spirit. It sort of reminds me of my first car; a maroon Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Classic. It was a project car of a nearby high school. It looked cool as hell but the engine was crap! It doesn’t matter how good you look if you can’t get to where you need to go.

What are some ways you practice spirituality?

photo credit: alicepopkorn

Other Articles That May Interest You

• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 5, Confession
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 4, Self-Searching
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness
• Matching Calamity with Serenity: Spiritual Training and Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos
• Wants vs. Needs and Spiritual Growth

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. ~   Buddha

A guest post by Aileen Mahoney of Kaizen Vision

There is a post-it-note on my bathroom mirror it’s 6 years old and the ink is fading, it reads:

Does this friendship strengthen me or weaken me?
Is my day brighter, my life brighter and better because of your presence?
If you strengthen me, support my best self, bring the best out of me, then you are a friend.

I clearly remember the day I wrote this. It was in the month of May 2004. I was deeply heartbroken by a great friend. I felt betrayed, stabbed in the back, and I was shocked, hurt and astounded. I really shouldn’t have been so surprised. If I had thought about all the times I felt little ouches when I was with her, how insecure I would feel at times and how careful I was at other times, then I would have known this wasn’t a true friend. Instead I focused on the fun factor of our friendship and I didn’t give the quality of our friendship enough attention. Looking back at it, all the signs were there.

Starting at the earliest age, we desire the feeling of being accepted, loved and appreciated. We enjoy the adventure, the comfort and the companionship that friendship offers. With true friends we grow and blossom, we are encouraged to show up as our best selves as we enrich each others lives.

With toxic friends we wither, sometimes knowingly other times unknowingly, but regardless the deteriorating effect is still the same. Do you recognize any of these?

7 Types of Toxic Friends

1. The Manipulator is often stealthy. We don’t tend to see it right away until smack it happens again. They have countless tactics too many to mention, the best way to recognize them is when you feel yourself coerced into responding in away that just doesn’t feel right.

2. The Judger just can’t help but judge and criticize us. “You would look great with an age appropriate hairstyle don’t you think?” “I love your home, there so much potential here I know exactly how I would decorate it.” These guys can find fault in anything you do. It’s as though you just can’t do anything right. When it’s done in a joking tone it may be a bit harder to identify.

3. The Competitor will compete with you even when you’re not competing. If you decide to run a 5k they can’t wait to tell you about how they signed up for a marathon. When you mention you’re your weekend getaway they tell you about their plan for a two week vacation in Tahiti in their beautiful over-water bungalow with panoramic views and fresh exotic fruits.

4. The Opportunist is “take, take, take.” There is no reciprocity in this relationship. They tend to call you when they need or want something. They’ll go to your party if there isn’t a “better” event happening that night. It’s all about what’s in it for them.

5. The Energy Vampire is self-absorbed and zaps our energy as they go on-and-on endlessly about themselves. When you leave them you feel exhausted.

6.The Gossiper is more malicious than the average person who periodically finds them self in a bit of gossip. Gossip appears to be the only thing they are interested in and they enjoy exaggeration and little lies to liven up the drama. This can be a disastrous recipe. The Gossiper can destroy relationships, and even compromise your job and reputation. Stay clear of this one because remember, one who always gossips to you about others will gossip to others about you and you won’t know what exaggerations or lies are being added.

7.  Negative Nelly is a downer, all is wrong in their world. They are pessimistic and resistant. They only want to hear what’s wrong in your life and they tend to get bored or change the subject when you mention your successes or happiness.

SUBTLETIES

Not all toxic friends will fit into a category, often there is a wide array of combinations and variations in their actions and it may be quite subtle. At first glance it may seem innocent, but after deeper consideration we realize something’s not quite right, we might feel like we’ve been hit by something but we’re not sure what. We don’t know specifically what they did or said but we feel it.

Ultimately the best way to know if a friend is true or toxic is how you feel when you are with them. Think of your individual relationships. Ask you self these questions allow yourself both a gut response and deeper response.

• Is this person there for you when you are in need? Can you count on this person? Would they go the distance for you if needed?

• Do you feel appreciated, celebrated and respected?

• Do you feel free to speak freely and be yourself without hesitating and self-editing?

• Is there room for both of you in this friendship? Is there a real shared give and take?

• Do you feel good with the person?

WHY IT MATTERS

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
Tennessee Williams

When we are busy with toxic friends, it’s harder to make time for the true ones. We have the opportunity to fill our life with great friends and great experiences. Do you really want give the best of yourself away to someone who takes what they can as they poison you? There are wonderful friendships to be cultivated, shared and celebrated right now and you have the power to choose who you invite into and who you keep in your life.

What about your friendships? Anything about them feel unhealthy?
What is it about your favorite friends that you cherish?

Aileen is a lover of dance and the performing arts. She writes about cultivating mind, body and spirit through continuous small improvements on her blog, Kaizen Vision.

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

Are Your Friends True or Toxic? Find out Now.

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

A guest post by Mark Owen-Ward of Energy Applied

Noise

It’s everywhere.

As sound it presents itself as constant traffic noise or as the television in the background. It’s the beeping alarm that wrenches us awake to start another day. Throughout the day we will be assaulted by our “really cool” ringtone, by text messages and email alerts.

Visually, noise shows up as cluttered road signs, as the hundreds of magazines in the newsagent, or in the chaos of retail outlets where every square inch has been assessed and utilized to make us buy.

We are bombarded by smells and aromas from dawn to dusk, from exhaust fumes to petro-chemical based colognes and aftershaves, from the plastics in our cars to the air-fresheners in our homes. Most of the time, we don’t even smell these odours.

In our minds, as multi-tasking and demanding quick thinkers, we are drowning in a noisy torrent of our own thoughts, desires and emotions.

Noise is an indiscriminant pollutant: hypnotic but toxic. A life full of noise is a life without relief or space to simply be.

Silence

Breathe.

Stop for a while.

Give yourself permission to just sit down and be still for a few minutes.

Silence is so much more than “the condition of being or keeping still and silent.” We need silence to hear ourselves and make our own choices.

In the twenty first century we unwittingly choose noise at every opportunity, inviting it into our lives and into our heads; no wonder one third of the population needs anti-depressants at some time.

We need silence to bring us back to the present moment, to the here and now. We need silence in order to reflect on what has recently passed so we can avoid repeating mistakes. We need stillness to recharge and to relax and to free our mind from the constant stream of desires that propel us to a future where our life doesn’t yet exist.

We need silence to allow creativity to flourish and to realize our dreams. In crushing the necessary peace needed for imagination and recuperation, we crush our potential.

We need silence to know who we are. Enslaved to noise, we can only focus on escape and the future, looking forward to becoming the person we believe we might be.

Ten steps for bringing silence into our noisy world

Becoming aware of the dominance of noise is the first step to bringing more silence, stillness and peace into your life. The benefits of silence are real, no matter how small the periods you can manage:

1. Be aware that you need daily time for silence and stillness.
2. Start your day in silence by changing your alarm from a buzz or a beep to a radio and set it to a classical radio station.
3. Start your day earlier and give yourself twenty minutes with no agenda. Just wake early and be still and quiet. If it feels strange to begin with just relax and breathe with it – the rewards are worth the effort.
4. Leave the radio or TV off in the morning – there are many other ways you can catch up on the news during the day.
5. Pay attention to each thing that you do as you do it. For example, as you shower be aware of the sound of the water and the feeling of the water on your skin.
6. Go perfume free for the day – notice your sense of smell today. Without your own personal olfactory arsenal blitzing your delicate nasal passages you will notice more smells today (good and bad).
7. Listen on your way to work. If you drive, leave the radio off – if you take a train, try the journey without reading a newspaper or listening to your ipod. Instead pay attention to your surroundings and really see what is there. Why not try a different route?
8. Don’t eat lunch at your desk, go out instead and sit under a tree. Look up at the leaves and listen to the sound of the leaves moving. You only need five to ten minutes to commune with nature. Pay attention to the colour of the leaves and the texture of the bark; touch the bark and feel the roughness of it and contrast that with all the smooth textures that you are used to in your usual environments.
9. Do something different this evening; leave the TV switched off. Try walking around your neighbourhood on a route you’ve not travelled before – introduce yourself to some neighbours you’ve never spoken to before.
10. Clear the clutter from your bedroom and spend some time in there in quietness. Write down your thoughts from the day and reflect on what you have noticed. Sleep without reading first, even if it takes longer.

Making space for silence in your life is a choice that will reward you with a clearer mind, protection from stress and a good physical recharge. Find space for silence in little pockets throughout the day – you will find that the more mindful you become, the more space for silence you create.

Mark Owen-Ward is a wellness coach, personal trainer, minimalist, photographer, and father of three. His passion lies in helping people develop new habits for simple wellness which he writes about at his blog, Energy Applied.

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Note from Mary Jaksch: I’m proud to announce that Mark Owen-Ward is a member of the A-List Blogger Club where Leo Babauta and I shape the top bloggers of tomorrow.

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Why We Need Space for Silence in a Noisy World